Has someone ever made you mad? Or disappointed you? Or maybe they lied, was rude, or did not apologize? Whatever it was, it hurt you. When people hurt us the normal human react is to share that hurt with a friend, love one, etc.. You call someone or find someone to vent to because everyone needs to know how horrible this person is. Sounds about right. Then you do something else, you call more people, and even more people, it ruins your whole day, all because of one moment. Venting is what humans do. When we do this it stresses the physical and mental part of our body. Letting go of what people do to us is hard but it’s even harder on the body holding on to it. Grudges are bad for the soul and I am not saying do not acknowledge when people treat us bad. I am saying at some point you must let it go for your wellbeing. Holding on to it does not change the situation it just allows it to continue to affect our emotions.
I am a very emotional person and I have a big heart but even I had to realize the damage of holding on to the grudges. It took a lot of growth and maturity because it honesty is our egos that gets in the way of allowing us to let things go. Why? Because we all want to be respected and when people treat us a certain way it effects our egos. Our egos then try to protect us by not letting go of what people do to us but it’s harder to hold on to what people do to us. I can recall times when I would get tension headaches just thinking about how someone did me wrong or hurt my feelings, and the list goes on. The reality is people are people. Not Artificial Intelligence. They are going to make mistakes and hurt people along the way. We do it. So why do we think that because we have done it no one will do it to us?
I had to start questioning myself when people hurt me or disappointed me. I began to ask myself "have you ever hurt or disappointed someone?" The answer was "yes" and even if it was not, I know I am not perfect. Life happens and sometimes it sucks but you must stop sweating the small stuff even if in your mind its big. There are so many things in life to focus on that are good besides what someone does to us. I was reading a chapter from the book Girl, Stop Apologizing and Rachel Hollis the author says she write down 10 things that happen to her each day that she was thankful for each night before bed. So, for example if someone help her with her groceries at the store, she will say she was thankful for the person in the store that helped her. The way she decides what to write down was by focusing on the people in her day that helped her, people who were nice, how good her coffee taste that day, someone told her a joke. Yes, these are simple things but sometimes we must look outside of the big things we are thankful for like our family and friends and find tiny nuggets throughout our day that we are thankful for. When she did this it allowed her to change her focus by looking for blessings throughout her day.
You must learn to change your focus. If you look for bad, then that is what you will see but if you look for good then you will find it. There are good people in the world you just must choose not to allow the ones that are not good, to ruin your day. Stop allowing people who hurt you to continue to control your life through how they affect you emotionally. Yes, it is hard to let go but it’s even harder holding on. My mom used to tell me as a child to never go to bed mad and though I did not understand at the time now I do. People will steal your joy if you continue to allow yourself to hold on to what they did. It’s time to get your joy back, it’s time to let go. Each day is a new day, you can choose to start over.
"When you live your life in a state of gratitude, it changes everything. From a place of feeling immensely blessed, we see immense possibility; we believe good things are possible and maybe even likely to happen to us." -Rachel Hollis