If you must mentally prepare yourself to be somewhere that’s a sign that you shouldn’t be there. This is something I believe is important because no matter how much we care about someone we must care about ourselves more. This past weekend I did my first self-care workshop and it amazed me how women put themselves last. We as women, girls, and mothers often feel like we must take care of everyone else. I hear people say if the children are okay, I’m okay. People often use this term when they are referring to material things, but we often overlook the emotional need. This is something we all need regardless of the age. I used to believe this to, but I realized that if I’m not okay they are not okay either. My emotions had to be in check. They don’t need only half of me, they need the whole me. I couldn’t be a mom halfway I needed to be whole.
Talking to these mothers this past weekend was amazing. I felt like I gave them the greatest gift they never thought they needed. Our greatest gift is ourselves. If we are not at our best everything around us suffers. I tell my children when I need my mommy time and I explain to them why I need it. Children don’t really know so this has been helpful for me because my children know mommy needs a break sometimes.
Taking a break for ourselves is okay we do it all the time for other people. We say, “let me see if I can get off to go” or let me try to work something out so I can be there to support you.” We constantly support, which don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with supporting people, but we also must support ourselves. I remember waking up one day and realizing that I had let my life slip away. I didn’t know where it went but I knew the only way to regain it was to start focusing on myself.
I like the feeling I have when I put myself first. I still do a lot because that’s me, but I always make time for myself. I have declined plenty of invitations because I needed my me time. I can’t be at an event and not give my full self so when I need a break, I must tell people no. Most will understand and if they don’t it’s okay. Your health matters. We must stop beating ourselves up for the times when we had to put ourselves first. The person who needs us will make a way when we are unable to support them, and they might be upset with us, but they will eventually get over it.
When the workshop came to an end, I asked the women “who is the most important person in their life? The answer should always be ourselves, then everything falls behind it. So, remember today learn to love yourself unconditionally, accept yourself for who we are right now, forgive yourself, and start putting yourself first.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”– Buddha