As I look back at my past I can swift through the times when I made the most ridiculous choices which lead to tremendously horrible outcomes. I didn’t know at the time that I was immature or making poor judgements but something happened to me one day. One day I started to change, I don’t know what it was but I was compelled to be more. In life we often realize that our circumstances are no longer lining up with who we aspire to be. I always had big dreams and goals but somewhere I got lost in the fog. Seriously I woke up one day and made a pack with myself that I wanted more for my life.
Growing in life requires you to actually look at your life and realize you need to change. I knew that I was not where I wanted to be but I didn’t know how to get there but accepting that I needed to change was the first step to getting me there.
Growing in life requires you to accept fault in your choices. I used to blame the outside world for who I was but reality is I could be who I wanted to be if I worked harder. I was so broken inside and quite frankly I wasn’t happy, I kept going down the same path, further and further into the dark. I didn’t make a lot of ridiculous choices in life but the few I did make had a negative effect on me. I wouldn’t talk about them because I truly thought if I didn’t admit my past then it couldn’t be true right? Wrong! You have to accept your past if you want to grow, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We wouldn’t be who we are without it, we know this to be true no matter how much we try to question it. Accepting your past is what you need to grow because you can’t move forward with anything without addressing the things that caused you pain. It might be scary but you have to do it. Then once it’s done, move on. Don’t go revisit those horrible moments and stop blaming yourself for the choices you made when your judgements weren’t clear.
After accepting fault even for the things people did to me, I was able to be free. Growing also requires you to be forgiving and open to others who are different. We all are different. Everyday you’re alive you may meet someone who is different then you. They may talk different, dress different, believe differently, and the list goes on. When we don’t allow people to be themselves we cannot grow. When we do this we are saying that our choices and opinions matter more than anyone else. So when someone actions or choices doesn’t line up with ours, we get upset.
This is the most important of all the things I learned so far in life. I can recall talking to people and noticing I couldn’t be my true self. They would look at me with those judging eyes and to be honest it was disappointing. I often wondered how can people be mature if they only cared about their own opinions? This is mainly why I do not get into debates, not because I can’t handle it but because people often are too immature to listen to someone who is different from them. If you learn to listen to others you may learn something and it also opens up your heart to developing an understanding for others.
I remember when I started having a open mind, it was amazing, I learned so many stories and I acquired a lot of good advice from people of different race and cultural backgrounds. See, we all just want to be understood and having people see you as you, without the judgements is the most wonderful feeling.
So how do you grow as a person in life? You can read a lot of self-help books, listen to podcast, watch inspirational videos but that doesn’t change who you are if you don’t take the advice. The best way to grow is to acknowledge you need to change, learn to forgive, accept your past, and accept people for who they are. In a world full of judgements choose to be the opposite.
2020 will be your year you just have to be willing to change.
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.” — John Wooden