When I decided to start this blog years ago, I focused mainly on dating. Picking the wrong men was something I struggled with, but I realized that it was because of my own self-love. Self-love is important because it helps us with every area of our life. This is not something that is taught to most of us when we are children or at least it wasn’t taught to me. Granted growing up I had a great childhood this is just something that was skipped but not on purpose. No one thinks to talk about making sure your child loves themselves. People tell their children they love them, but most parents don’t take time out to see if the child loves themselves. It’s really something we instill in ourselves. In life we are born and whatever we don’t learn from our parents we kind of have to teach ourselves. The way most of us learn is through our choices which create our experiences in life. Some choices cause us to have good experiences and some causes us to have terrible experiences. Regardless of what the experiences are we learn something from them. If you don’t learn then you will find yourself repeating the same habits.
So, since I never learned self-love, or it was never instilled in me I made wrong choices when dating. Truth be told we have things instilled in us; it takes unlocking that box to reveal it. So, the self-love was always there I just had to believe it. Since I didn’t believe it, I continue to make poor dating choices. There were times when I didn’t agree with my choices, but I continue to make them.
Self-love is important. The constant need to look perfect is projected in the media, filters, and photoshop on images are used to make people look perfect. Children in this era are more likely to have self-esteem issues. They say a girl develops insecurities at the age of 4. It’s worst in young girls and women but young boys and men also have insecurities. We all have things we do not like about ourselves and features we wished we had compared to others. I tell my children every day to love themselves. I also tell them the choices they make are important so don’t make choices that goes against how they love themselves. My daughter is five and my boys are 10 and 13. All my children are beautiful and I’m not saying that because I’m their mom, but I do believe they are beautiful and are special. This is what people need to be told sometimes.
I can remember being told more that I was loved versus that I was beautiful. I knew I was beautiful, but it sounds better coming from people you love. If you don’t have this type of relationship with family and close friends, then how do you love yourself? Loving yourself is important and if you want to have a life that you will be proud of it starts with loving yourself. Most people don’t realize they don’t love themselves. I didn’t so I know most people don’t either but it’s very important to love yourself. The type of person you are dating reflects your self-love. The type of career you have reflects your self-love. The people you are friends with are a reflection for your self-love. It might sound weird but when you love yourself everything you do will be an expression of how you love yourself. So, if you are unhappy with any area of your life then you have lost intimacy with yourself.
I recently adapted self-care Friday’s in my life because I don’t want to ever stop loving myself again. When you fall out of love with yourself, you start accepting less than you deserve. If you are not practicing self-care weekly, then you are likely to make choices that goes against your self-love. Mental health is at an all-time high because so many people have fallen out of love with themselves. If you are suffering from mental health issues and you haven’t asked for help this isn’t good for your self-love. You are worthy of help and worth it, even if your situation isn’t as bad as others. Stop comparing yourself and start doing the things that will help you get back to you. I lost myself before when I fell out of love with myself and it’s harder to piece yourself back together after you have broken apart.
So, remember self-love is important for you to thrive in all areas of your life. It’s time to get your life in check. Stop breaking promises. Stick to a routine. Accomplish your goals and stop giving up. Believe in yourself and all your capabilities. I challenge you today to take your self-love serious. Don’t let 2019 leave without you finding yourself again. 2019 is still your year, you just must believe it.
“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”
- Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience