“It's not you letting them go it’s them refusing to keep up.”-Tom Bilyeu
I used to think I had to live a small life. I didn’t share my promotions at my job, being approved for a house, or any goals I accomplished because I was afraid of offending someone. I know this sound crazy but it’s true. The more my life improved the lesser people I had in my life. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. Life is about making connections and having healthy relationships, but I only have a few people in my life that I can talk to. I know you shouldn’t count the number of people in your support system, but I wonder why the others drifted away? The ones that have drifted away from me have criticized me of being different.
I used to long for their relationships, but I realized that I was putting all this energy into wanting them in my life that I was losing myself trying to hold on to them. I was constantly drained from trying to prove to them that I was the same person, but I wasn’t. I have grown a lot and matured since my young adult life. I wanted more for myself. I always had goals and wanted to accomplish things in life, but I knew it took me making a drastic change in my life. If I wanted to see a major change in my life, I had to stop living a small life. What I mean by small is I wasn’t taking risks I was doing the bare minimum to survive. I wasn’t going above and beyond. I had to change for the better if I wanted to see changes in my life.
Most people think that I am doing well for my age. I have accomplished a lot of my goals, but I still have big goals I haven’t accomplished. When someone tells me, they are proud of me I often don’t know how to respond. Mainly because the things that I am proud of has created a division between me and the ones I love. They say when you are on the road to better your life sometimes you may lose some people on the way. I did. I didn’t think it would happen to me, but anything is possible in life. I was so caught up in improving myself and gaining my happiness that the people who loved me seen it as me pulling away from them. When I was down, they were there but now I that it appears I have everything figured out in my life they are nowhere to be found. My life isn’t fully figured out. I still have room to grow and improve. There is still so much I want to accomplish in life and sometimes I wish they were here to join me on the journey.
I finally had to give up and throw in the towel because unhealthy relationship is not what I needed in my life. If I kept seeking the approval of others, I will always live a small life. The only person we owe approval to is ourselves. We must be happy with our decisions and we can’t be happy trying to please everyone. Yes, I was a people pleaser and I am honest when I say it never ends well. Why? Because we can’t make people happy, they must be willing to do that for themselves. My choices were guided by the people around me. I was constantly pulled in every direction in fear that I would upset someone with my accomplishments, so I didn’t take risk. I let my personal development suffer until I finally had enough. I decided that I was the captain of my ship and if I wanted my life to change, I had to change. I could no longer worry about what everyone else thought. I had to worry about myself. Since that day I have been working on improving myself daily.
I’m not perfect by any means and I still make mistakes, but I don’t put them on display. I acknowledge and learn from them and move on. We are all doing life the best we can, some people just look like they are doing it better but they’re not. We all struggle with something that’s why it’s important to feed our bodies with good energy so we will have the strength to conquer any battles life throws at us. We can’t be weak, or we will fail. I constantly must guard my mind and my mouth as well. Like the quote from the Bible be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I learned that I must listen and guard my mind and body so that I won’t react to things or people out of poor judgement or response to ignorance. I know that not everything deserves a reaction, but this wasn’t always easy. We all like to speak our mind, but sometimes it’s okay to listen and take it in and if we don’t agree so be it. It doesn’t change the way that person feels about what they said. That’s mainly why I stop wasting my breath I learned that if someone already has their mind made up, I can’t change their opinion so therefore I keep my mouth shut. Especially if I don’t agree I know that if I react it only causes tension and anger and I don’t like taking my body through unnecessary emotions. Now understand I’m not saying you cannot have an opinion or that no one will not make you angry but understand we are in control of our emotions, so you must learn what makes your body tick and what doesn’t.
Living a big life is part of constantly learning about your body and growing in all areas of your life. You will see success in every area of your life when you are striving to live a big life. Will you lose some people on the way, yes but the people you lose on the way were never meant to ride on your train. They were only meant for a season in your life. If you want to understand why they drifted away from you then reach out to them and if they don’t respond, then at least you tried. I am a firm believer and not living with regrets and if this will help you not live with regrets do it.
So, remember today don’t try to live a small life trying to keep everyone else happy because in the end you only ruin your happiness. Our happiness is the most important thing in our life. When we’re unhappy everything in our life would never feel fulfilled. We need happiness and I’m not talking about happiness in things but a feeling on the inside that says no matter what is going on in my life at least I have my sanity. Happiness doesn’t mean everything will always be perfect. Happiness means that through the rain eventually you’ll see a rainbow. Today I challenge you to relinquish anything or anyone that is holding you back from living the life you know you were meant to live. Will it hurt, yes, but will you heal? I promise you will.
“The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think.”-unknown