Losing Myself Mentally


Sometimes we beat ourselves up about the things we did in the past. I use to dwell on the past a lot. I would find myself rehashing my mistakes. The little voices in my head were constantly reminding me of all my mistakes. I always thought I forgave myself but I was still reminding myself of my mistakes everyday. Not only was I reminding myself of the mistakes I made but I was constantly thinking about the things that people did to me. These things were constantly weighing me down mentally and I knew if I kept this up it would affect my health in the long run. I workout. I eat right, but my mental health wasn't in check. As people we are always trying to get healthy. We eat right, exercise, and get an adequate amount of rest but we never stop to think about our mental health.

"Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year"(NAMI)

Mental health is our psychological, social, and emotional well-being. If we don't take care of our mental health it can affect the way we think, respond, and feel. When we take on more than we can handle. When we stress. When we don't forgive ourselves or others. When we worry. This all affects our mental health. I was so concerned for others, trying to lift them up, and help them fix their problems that I didn't realize my own mental health was not in check. Each week I was going through a emotional roller coaster sometimes I was happy with myself somedays I wasn't. Somedays I forgave myself and then I would remind myself of my mistakes and beat myself up again. Some days I would forgive the people who hurt me then I would see them or hear someone talk about them and then I would remember what they did to me. I couldn't keep going down that path of mental instability.

"1.1% of adults in the U.S. live with schizophrenia"(NAMI).

I can recall sitting down with my husband and he told me that I worried too much. He told me that I took on more than I needed to and that I carried everyone else problems with me. I knew that I worried but I didn't understand that it was noticeable. At that moment I knew that I had to take care of my mental health. I can still help people and give them advice but I had to make sure that I also helped myself. I couldn't carry their problems with me no more. I had to genuinely forgive myself and others. I couldn't keep repeating the cycle of being mentally unstable. It was causing me to experience a lot of emotions. I was sad, angry, and depressed. I had anxiety about everything. I couldn't make decisions because I was afraid of making the wrong decision. I was so concerned with what others thought about me. I wasn't motivated and I felt like giving up everyday. When you lose yourself mentally sometimes it hard to get back on track. When you're down and you don't have anybody around you lifting you up its kind of hard to push yourself.

"2.6% of adults in the U.S. live with bipolar disorder" (NAMI)

I have my husband but sometimes I don't want to bother him with my problems. What I didn't realized is that he already knew I had problems. In life we try to hide our issues but eventually people discover them. When I looked up information on mental health I didn't think it was something I could experience because I didn't want to admit I was unstable. I have all this pressure of being the perfect child and the one that has her life all together but I was not all together on the inside. Sometimes we have to admit we have a problem and then we have to figure out what are we going to do to fix it. I researched and read articles about mental help and the causes and the side effects that can effect our body and that was more than enough to keep me motivated to fix my mental health.

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.,the 3rd leading cause of death for people aged 10–14 and the 2nd leading cause of death for people aged 15–24"(NAMI).

When we are not mentally stable it effects our whole body. According to the Mental Health Foundation in UK, depression has been linked to a increase in heart disease and cancer deaths. Stress also has been link to an autoimmune disease called Psoriasis that leave red flaky sores on our skin. Your mental health is important. We can't keep putting our bodies through up and down emotions everyday. Its time to get our mental health in check. 1 in 5 adults in the US are dealing with a mental illness. I didn't want to struggle anymore and you don't have to either. Just decide today to work on your mental health daily. Its not going to be easy, but it will get better, just don't give up.

If you are struggling with mental health issues please talk to someone. If you don't have anyone to talk to email me. I realized that if I wanted to live a healthy life I couldn't allow life to affect me mentally.

"Mood disorders, including major depression, dysthymic disorder and bipolar disorder, are the third most common cause of hospitalization in the U.S. for both youth and adults aged 18–44" (NAMI).

“Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are. Because my bipolar went untreated for so long, I spent many years looking in the mirror and seeing a person I did not recognize or understand. Not only did bipolar rob me of my sanity, but it robbed me of my ability to see beyond the space it dictated me to look. I no longer could tell reality from fantasy, and I walked in a world no longer my own.” ― Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother

For more information on mental health feel free to check out these websites below

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/p/physical-health-and-mental-health

https://rogersbh.org/about-us/newsroom/blog/mental-health-month-mental-wellness-important-physical-wellness

https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers


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