I am always busy. If I decide to sit down and relax I think about all the things I can be getting done if I wasn't relaxing. Then I beat myself up for wasting a lot of time. Time is valuable but sometimes we are often trying to build a life for our family that we never get a chance to relax and enjoy it with them. I work 40 hours per week at night. When I get off of work I take my shower and go to bed because my night time is normal people morning time. I sleep a little then I get up and work on school work, cook dinner, take my oldest son to basketball training then I come home and get ready for work. This is not a permanent situation for myself this is just how my life is right now. I know that if I want to accomplish certain things in life then I have to make sacrifices. Working night shift is not my favorite schedules but I do it because it works for my family. While I am busy doing all of this stuff during the week, I often miss out on spending time with my husband and children.
I was listening to The Daily Goalcast and the speaker that they were featuring was named Simon T. Bailey. Simon was talking about how he was so busying trying to create a life that he didn't realized that he was devoting more of his time to his job and less time to his family. His wife decided to file for divorce because she got tired of getting the leftovers from him. He was drained after trying to take on so much to provide and make a living for his family that he didn't realize that they already had enough. While I was listening to him I started to evaluate my life and ask myself was I giving my family my leftovers. When I thought about the time I spent with my family each week I realized that I was giving my family my leftovers. I wasn't there like I needed to be. I would often tell them I will come play after I stop doing my homework or I had things to do and I promise them I would play with them later. Later didn't matter to them because they needed me right then and I was missing out on what they wanted to show me at that moment of time. When I decide to spend time with them I am usually tired and irritated from being tired.
I thought that though I was spending time with them it didn't matter if I was tired or cranky but it did matter. No one wants to be around someone who is always cranky. They deserved my undivided attention and I needed to leave my emotions somewhere else. A lady once told me its okay if the laundry doesn't get done or the dishes sit in the sink for a lot longer than I wanted it to because our family needs come first. Yes our families needs their clothes washed and clean dishes to eat out of but it will get done. We often spend time worrying about getting everything done and while we are trying to take on the duties of the house, working, completing our goals, and improving ourselves, we end up forgetting about everyone else.
My oldest son told me that he liked Saturdays and Sundays because I was off and we always have fun on those days. He was basically communicating his feelings to me. When my children communicate their feelings to me I always take them into account. They are always understanding of my feelings but I didn't realize I was neglecting theirs. I know its hard watching their mom go to work during the week and sleep all day. I know its hard when they come to me to play and I tell them I can't right now. My husband has been supporting me and taking on a lot of duties around the house but I know it get hard for him. He has always supported me through all of the things I decided to add to my plate but when will I start compromising for him? I know its hard watching his wife go to work during the week while he sleep in our bed alone. I know its hard only sleeping in the bed together on the weekends and his days off. I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't take in account that he had goals to.
After watching Simon T. Bailey speech I realized that I had to stop giving them my left overs. They deserve more of me than anything else. I started looking at my assignment schedule online to figure out how I can get my school work done in less time to make time for them. Last week I finally figured out how to balance my schedule to pencil in more time with them. I don't want them to feel like I wasn't there for them because I was so busy completing my goals. I don't want them to ever feel like they can't come to me to. I don't want my husband always compromising for me. I love them and I don't want to continue putting there feelings aside because I think mine matter the most. Our family members are not asking for our whole day they are only asking for a few minutes of our time. So Remember today If you are working on completing your goals don't put all your energy into completing them that you have none left for your love ones. Spend time with your love ones, laugh, and have fun. Its okay to set hours or a day to the side that is just for them. Take time for yourself. Its okay to take a break from work to sit back and relax. Theres no time line to success you will get there eventually. If you continue to give your left overs to your love ones they will
eventually want something else.
"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, a parent."