Sex Without Love Part 1


Sex is becoming more and more casual in this day in age. Women and men are comfortable with hooking up with not strings attached. The world we live in is marketing sex as a good thing. Sex is seen on television shows, movies, cartoons, and even commercials. When referring to sex it doesn't actually mean someone is having sex, it's the insinuating of sex. Perfume commercials are becoming graphic, with half naked men in women walking around no wonder our generation has become comfortable with casual sex. I have to sensor the television shows that my children watch because characters are using sexual undertones, shaking their booty with no clothes on as if there is entertainment to that. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, teen pregnancy in the United States in 2015 had a total of 229,715 babies born to women aged 15-19. Now to clear things up, I do not condone anyone that has sex, but it does have consequences. I was a teenage mother. I had my first child at 18 and I believe if I was more educated about sex then I wouldn't had tried to fit in.

Being a virgin was not considered being cool, and everyone was doing it, so having sex became normal to me. Sex without true love can lead to many things. Sex can also be damaging to the person that valued the sex over the other person. Sex is not something that people can do without strings attached, sex bonds a women and a men together, even if they do not want that bond. The bond I'm referring to, is a chemical bond. When a women and men have sex, there are several neurochemicals that are release from the brain. Dopamine is a chemical produced by the hypothalamus and is release when we do things that make us feel good, like sex. The chemical is often compared to the brain on heroin and it is our internal pleasure reward system. Another chemical release during sex is Oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone found primarily in women bodies, this hormone is release during childbirth and it is also released when a women has sex.

According to Wikipedia the hormone forms a monogamous bond between the women partner when she has sex and the same hormone bonds the women to their child. Men produce a hormone called vasopressin during sex and it has the same effects as oxytocin in women. When a person decides to have sex they are bonding to them chemically rather they want to or not. Sex is more powerful than a drug and people who are in a relationship involving sex without love, they are more than likely to have relationships after relationships. The person is trying to fill that void of a ended relationship, but that will never be filled if the two are not truly in love. Sex can impair people's judgments and lead to unfulfilled marriages. When I was dating I didn't wait until I was married to have sex and some of my relationships were good and some were bad. I didn't have love in the relationships, at the time what I thought was love, was actually lust.

My body chemistry that bonded me to that person felt good because my brain thought of the bond as a reward, which tricks people and believing he or she is the one. I know that in some relationships people do instantly fall in love but that's not in all cases. My experiences in past relationships lead me to try another approach. I removed the sex and got to know the person and thats what I did when I met my husband. We dated for a long time as friends and then we finally became boyfriend and girlfriend. I got to know my husband outside of sex. I was attracted him and not only his body features. The way my husband spoke was so eloquent and he had an intensive vocabulary. My husband is a smart man, he doesn't try to impress people, he's original and that is what I fell in love with. When we started out as friends we were able to make a genuine bond. Sex isn't a bad thing, but when it is done outside of love there are consequences.

Before you have sex remember you are making a decision to bond to this person, even if love isn't involved, and there are consequences but I will talk about those in part 2. So should you have sex before marriage? I believe having sex is up to the two adults that are thinking about it. First educate yourself on sex and second if you like the person get to know them first to see if you truly have a connection. Stay tuned for

Part II because I will discuss the consequences of having sex without love.

Stay Be Beautiful, Be Blessed, And Inspired XOXO


  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Pinterest Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon
  • Black YouTube Icon
0